The Black Zodiac
The best part of the remake of THIR13EN GHOSTS (I’ll spell it the way they do) from 2001 is the “Black Zodiac” of nasty ghosts they created for it. (The original 13 GHOSTS, a creation of the brilliantly creative mind of showman extraordinaire William Castle, is a superior movie. Just FYI.) Who was your favorite of the 13? I confess that I was partial to the Angry Princess. (Has nothing to do with the fact that she was naked and a total hottie, even under zombie makeup. I’m not that shallow.) They’re all creepy-cool, but I thought the Jackal was the most badass.
Apparently there is a real Black Zodiac, too. According to it, my birth sign is the maelstrom. I don’t put any stock in that sort of thing, though. Pure poppycock. According to the Black Zodiac, my dark side is “like the wrath of god…most dangerous to the ones that you love the most. You may project a caring and compassionate image but you have the tendency to be possessive. What’s yours is yours alone; better destroyed by your hands than taken by others. You dwell on jealousy and you savor the fury that comes with it.” Great gadzooks. That is eerily accurate. Those are my worst qualities down to a T. I’m a “cusper,” though, born straddling Leo and Virgo. Let’s see what the Black Zodiac says about my Leo counterpart: “The War Maiden is a paradox. You appreciate beauty and anticipate decay. This conflicting nature of yours may be regarded as puzzling and ultimately disturbing by others, thus very few can see the beauty of your ways. Seeing through comforting lies enables you to embrace the hardships of reality. You stand in the thin line between the evil and the benign.” Shit. This is getting a little creepy. Think I’ll stop there.
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.
Denn die totden reiten schnell!