The Blood-Drinkin’ Dog-Eatin’ Tree

Traveling this past week, I of course made certain to check with Roadside America to see what all oddities might lie along my planned route, so that I could seek out said oddities. (I honestly don’t comprehend how anyone could not, provided they had the time.) Passing through southeastern Georgia, I simply had to seek out the world-famous Stuckie, the Mummified Dog.

Science tells us that Stuckie became, um, stuck while climbing up the interior of a hollow tree in pursuit of a raccoon or squirrel. (Stuckie made it a commendable 28 feet before being wedged in place!) The chemical reactions within the tree, along with Stuckie’s location, protected him from scavengers while turning him into a mummy. That’s the official explanation for how Stuckie got in that oaken log, which is now on display at the Southern Forest World Museum in Waycross, Georgia.

The docent at the museum (which is a neat little place even without its star attraction, chronicling the history of forestry in Georgia, a more interesting topic than you might at first think), however, told me about a phone call she had received from a woman who claimed to know the *real* story. The tree ate Stuckie. Literally. That’s because a similar tree also tried to eat her, attacking her just like that tree in EVIL DEAD 2 (minus the sexual violation, one assumes). The vampiric tree drained Stuckie of all his blood, it seems, but why it didn’t digest him outright this woman didn’t explain. Stuckie’s carcass atrophied inside the tree’s gullet, though, where it remains to this day. That’s what this lady claimed. Beware of blood-drinking carnivorous trees, then, friends. They are out there.

You can learn more about the non-carnivorous tree process which mummified Stuckie here—but believe such a mundane explanation at your peril.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.

Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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