The Bloody Dracula

Something I didn’t expect to ever be writing about on this site–or any site, for that matter, is the Olympics. I’ve never watched the Olympics. I’ve never cared about the Olympics. I got stuck in traffic once, when the Olympics were being held in Atlanta and they were carrying the torch through the state. The cops stopped traffic and we all had to sit there while some guy jogged past carrying a stick. (If there was a flame burning atop said stick, I didn’t see it.) I know there’s a however-many-thousands-of-years tradition behind it, and that’s cool, but it ain’t my bag. But here we are on this site, and I’m writing about the Olympics. Why?

Kyle Mack, who is twenty years old and an American, competed in the snowboarding competition at the Games. He won the silver medal (Which is what, second place?) by executing a maneuver called the “Bloody Dracula.” Supposedly the move got its name because of the massive bloodshed that would result if the move is improperly executed. As it involves the front or “nose” of the snowboard being driven vertically into the snow, which means that the snowboarder is also driven vertically into the snow, I think they should call it “The Impaler.” Still a Dracula reference, but more appropriate to the specifics of the move, I think.

Congrats to Kyle for not impaling himself.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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