real vampires, vampire games and tv shows, movies or films, and vampire books

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The Craziest Twilight Gifts Ever!

There are all kinds of Twilight fans – from those who simply enjoyed it, to those that loved it and then way way past to those that are unbelievably obsessed. It’s the obsessed fans that bring us here today, because without them none of the merchandising horrors below would have ever been born…

Twilight Bra

This is one of those that take it a bit too far, sure that vampire crest is pretty, but really… why?

Twilight Condoms

I’m pretty sure the second a chick whips one of these out her man will be instantly turned off. Plus, the series is directed at tweens, kids that probably shouldn’t be having sex. But I guess you do have all the Twilight moms out there too.

Twilight Love at First Bite Cook Book

Yea, it’s a Twilight cook book… a cook book based on a vampire series. Now you can eat dishes like Bell’s Lasagna, Harry’s Famous Fish Fry, Mushroom Ravioli and Blushing Bella Punch. Apparently all you have to do to make a “Twilight recipe” is add a character’s name into the title.

Twilight Bandages


Ahahaha! After your vampire lover feeds off of your tasty blood you can then cover the bite marks with these, Twilight bandages.

Twilight Dolls

Ok, when you think about all the 8-year-olds that love Twilight this doesn’t seem too weird. But you can bet that adults own them too. At least they’re accurate, if you’ve ever seen the Edward doll up close you’d know that its skin is covered in glitter. Seriously.

Edward Shower Curtain

This is… it’s just… scary and creepy as fuck.

Life-sized Edward Silhouette

This is creepy too! I picture a little girl forgetting it’s there, waking up in the middle of the night and screaming her lungs out.

Edward Cullen Panties

What-the-fuck. These are hands down the worst of all! Words don’t even begin to describe how disturbing and over the top these are. Bleh.

– Moonlight

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Moonlight • May 30, 2010


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