The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
One of my biggest pet peeves involving things that don’t actually matter in the slightest is the way the stores always jump the gun on holiday merchandise. A couple’a weeks ago I went into a Dollar Tree and they’d jumped over Halloween already and went straight to Thanksgiving. In the middle of July. And Hobby Lobby, I am told, put Christmas stuff out in June. (Why the hell not leave it out year-round if you’re gonna do that?) With summer being my favorite season, I have mixed emotions when the stores start putting out fall merchandise, because fall brings with it HALLOWEEN! Since for me every day is Halloween, I’m always glad to see Halloween merchandise hitting the shelves. I wish stores *would* stock Halloween stuff year-round.
The other day I stopped by a DG and they were putting out Halloween candy. Yes, it was the middle of July and yes it felt way too soon, but I couldn’t help but smile when I saw this guy sitting on the aisle.
And this year Skittles is going to be introducing special “Zombie-flavored” packages, where scattered amidst the standard reds, yellows, and greens will be zombie-flavored pieces. What does zombie taste like, exactly? You’ll have to buy some of the candy to find out. But the zombie candies will look just like the regular ones, so you won’t know you’ve gotten hold of one until you bite into it. It’s like playing Russian Roulette with candy!
I’m a sucker for a good gimmick. Naturally I will be buying some of those Zombie Skittles. Two bags. One to eat and one to keep. Your marketing strategy worked, Skittles!
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.
Denn die totden reiten schnell!