The Necronomicon Does Not Exist

Okay, like, if you are up on your quantum physics and all, then you’re familiar with the theory that, for every potential possibility, there is a universe in existence in which that possibility is a reality. In other words, there is a universe wherein H.P. Lovecraft’s Great Old Ones really do exist, as does his cursed book, the Necronomicon. There would also be a reality in which the flesh-bound book from the EVIL DEAD franchise exists. (The two are probably one and the same, but if Ash and Cthulhu exist in the same universe, then the Tentacled One better not be pickin’ no fights with the Chainsaw man, unless he wants to get schooled!) Specific to THIS reality, though, in which I am the writer of this article and you are the reader, Lovecraft and Sam Raimi were writing fiction. The Necronomicon isn’t real.

While I can always appreciate a good gimmick, and this one, here, is certainly that, I must reluctantly inform any would-be seekers of dark esoterica that the “Necronomicon” written by a guy with the pseudonym “Simon” is a complete hoax. Rather, it is something other than it purports to be. What it really is, is a collection of Babylonian mythology and spells for repelling evil spirits, with several of the names changed and replaced with fictitious ones. Interesting enough on its own, but don’t be suckered into buying it, thinking it is the inspiration for Lovecraft’s version. It is a modern refurbishing of ancient myth and nothing more.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

1 comment

  1. hundreds of thousands of books have been written over the period of tens of thousands of years. Technically speaking, there is a chance that a book called the necronomicon (Or something that roughly translates to that) has been written. Look at the Egyptian ‘Book of the dead’

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