The Perils of PENNY DREADFUL

Josh Hartnett as Ethan Chandler, Eva Green as Vanessa Ives, Danny Sapani as Sembene, Harry Treadaway as Dr. Victor Frankenstein and Timothy Dalton as Sir Malcolm in Penny Dreadful (season 1, episode 8). - Photo: Jonathan Hession/SHOWTIME - Photo ID: PennyDreadful_108_0011

Having only recently discovered and fallen madly in love with PENNY DREADFUL, I find myself suffering from a terrible malady. I bought seasons one and two, and was able to watch them at my leisure. Problem is, I’m now hooked. I’m jonesing for more. You might be wondering, as PENNY DREADFUL season number three just started, what exactly the problem IS, yes? There wouldn’t be one at all, EXCEPT I don’t have Showtime. Okay, one phone call fixes that. Done. Now I have Showtime. I can start watching PENNY DREADFUL this coming Sunday, and I plan to. But we’re three episodes in, now, and I have to catch up. I can’t just START with the third episode. Or are we up to FOUR by now?! AAARRRGH!

What’s that? Watch ‘em online, you say? Sure, I could do that. Except I’m still CURSED. The nature of my curse? Living in a rural—VERY rural—area, the curse that I bear is called “dial-up.” Yes, there are still people in this country who are forced to live with such primitive technology. Trust me, yelling at cable companies over the telephone won’t get them to provide service to your area any faster. I’ve tried. What’s left for me but to move? And yet I can’t get moved before Sunday, when the next PENNY DREADFUL airs. And DRACULA is finally on the show! Geeze, I’m gonna go nuts, here!

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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