The Quest for the Fanged Minion
It ain’t easy being a Collector. The capital C is used to denote your typical geek Collector from, say, a philatelist or a guy who hordes sports memorabilia. A Collector is usually an adult male with a taste for specialized “stuff.” Could be He-man and the Master of the Universe action figures or Star Wars lunchboxes or Looney Tunes Pez dispensers. We collect this stuff and . . . we own it. That’s all. And the owning of it brings us pleasure. Weird? Maybe. But other Collectors understand.
Recently, I decided I had to have one of the McDonalds Happy Meal Minions toys—the vampire, naturally. (I confess I already have several other Minions from the last DESPICABLE ME film.) Thus began THE SEARCH. Stopping by every Golden Arches I see, running in (you can’t do something like this in the drive-through lane) to inquire if they have the toy in question in stock, enduring the blank, uncomprehending stares, sprinkled with the faint hint of condescension, from the McD’s employees and the customers waiting in line behind you. Hearing the disappointing “No, sir,” before moving on to the next restaurant and the next inevitable “No.” But in the end, it’s worth it. I got my Minion!
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (www.evilcheezproductions.blogspot.com, www.facebook.com/evilcheezproductions), specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/734763
MORTUI VELOCES SUNT!