I had thought these were like those prepaid gift cards you can get at Walmart, or purchase at Red Robin. You pay, say, five bucks and you get a card with five bucks credit on it that you can then either save for a rainy day or give as a gift. Had the cards been of those type, I would have bought one. I was never that big a fan of the THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD movies, to be perfectly honest, despite the fact that I used to do work for a company called Legless Corpse Films, named after the mobility-challenged zombie featured therein. Still, the artwork for these cards is neato. And just the idea of carrying around a card with zombies on it tickles my fancy. Alas, these appear to be credit cards. You sign up for one and you’re stuck. You sign away your life’s savings, your firstborn, a gallon of blood (to be collected over a six-month period), the first baby tooth you ever lost, the title to your car, the title to your girlfriend’s car, your mom’ collection of potted plants, your dog’s favorite chew toy, and then agree to a make monthly payments of roughly 225% the amount you paid for the card in the first place. In other words, a typical credit card.

It’s distasteful that a credit card company is using the zombies of THE RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD to swindle people. But you can click on this link and admire the artwork for free. Just don’t sign up for anything.

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.

Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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