The Saltman vs. the Salt Vampire

Just for fun, okay.

Technically there are several Saltmen. They are mummies that were discovered in the Chehrabad Salt Mine in the Zanjan province of Iran starting back in the 90s. The mummies were miners who died in a cave-in at that mine—some 2200 years earlier! The bodies underwent no mummification process akin to what was practiced in ancient Egypt. Instead, the salt that buried the Saltmen (one of them was a woman, for what it’s worth) did all the work.

The Salt Vampire appeared in one of my favorite episodes of the original STAR TREK series, “The Man Trap”. (Or two episodes, if you count “The Squire of Gothos”, the one wherein they reused the monster suit to have it appear as a stuffed specimen.) For me, STAR TREK was first and foremost a Horror show. It would come on in syndication on weekend afternoons when I was a kid. All the heady Sci-fi stuff went over my little boy head. What I remembered was the monsters, like the Salt Vampire.  So let’s say one of the Saltmen were to be resurrected through a mixture of Tana Leaves or from radiation from some returning space probe or whatnot. If it were then to be pitted against a Salt Vampire—and, as the Salt Vampire only attacks people to suck the salt out of their bodies, and the Saltman would have a much higher concentration of salt in his system than any normal non-reanimated human, it stands to reason the Salt Vampire would attack him—who’d win the fight?

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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