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The Vampire Stump

In New Zealand there lives a stump. “Lives” is sorta a relative term, considering it is a stump and should thus be dead. When a tree falls or is cut down, either it sprouts some new growth to start over or it dies. It doesn’t just remain a stump and remain living. Only this one did. Does. Is. How? Science has the explanation: it’s still connected to its neighbors, the trees that surround it, by the roots. It has attached its roots to their roots and is siphoning water and nutrients from them. It’s a vampire, in other words. And just like any good vampire, it preys on its victims while they are asleep. When the other trees are most dormant, scientists have learned, the Vampire Stump is at its most active, sucking the hardest, if you will. The experts still aren’t certain *how* the Vampire Stump is doing it, but it is definitely doing it.

A Vampire Tree Stump will by necessity make me think of the underrated classic FROM HELL IT CAME.

Remember the tree that got struck by lightning during a performance of one of my shows a few weeks back, peeled of its bark like a banana? Well, we might just have a Vampire Magnolia on our hands, because said tree is still alive! I took 3 years of Horticulture back in school. When a tree loses its bark all the way around the bole, in a process called “girdling,” the tree that has been girdled will die. Only our tree is not only still green and alive, it’s blooming!

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.

Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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