The Worst Vampire Movie of 2009

This has no doubt been the year of vampires and theaters have been full of new vamp movies, but which is the worst? A poll of 20,000 people has rated Lesbian Vampire Killers not only the worst vampire movie of the year but the worst movie of 2009 period. I can’t say that this comes as a shock, just the title of the flick screams “campy trash!”

Lesbian Vampire Killers is a British comedy about two friends Fletch and Jimmy – one has been fired from his job as a clown and the other has been dumped by his girlfriend. They decide to take a trip to forget all their troubles, but since they’re broke they end up hiking in the rural village of Cragwich. It turns out that this old village is under a curse that transforms all girls over the age of 18 into sexy little vampires. Fletch and Jimmy end up getting stuck with the task of saving the village from the curse and the hot lesbian vampires.

Obviously this movie was meant to be a funny good time. I kind of doubt the writer and director were thinking of Oscar awards when they created this flick. But even so the movie fails to deliver the humor it was going for. Even fans of smutty gags and cheesy horror were disappointed by Lesbian Vampire Killers. According to a few reviews I’ve read the acting was so horrible that it actually made the sexy lesbians less sexy (that‘s some bad acting). Not only was the acting horrible but the script was as well, using either lame old jokes or relying on swear-words to get laughs… which it didn’t.

I love me some cheesy movies but they have to at least be semi-funny. I don’t even think this flick will qualify for a bad movie night. But hell, if all you want is to watch some sexy women pretending to be lesbian vampires (and I’m sure some of you do) then this is a flick you’ll probably enjoy.

Check out the trailer for Lesbian Vampire Killers below…

– Moonlight

By Moonlight

Moonlight (aka Amanda) loves to write about, read about and learn about everything pertaining to vampires. You will most likely find her huddled over a book of vampire folklore with coffee in hand. Touch her coffee and she may bite you (and not in the fun way).


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  2. I have not seen this movie, but I have understood it´s mix of pottymouthed toilet-comedy which belongs in the, well, toilet and some quite pretty imagery.

  3. Seen it, wasn’t all that impressed but I’ve seen worse. The problem with this movie is that it has tried to feed off the success of Sean of the Dead which is a fantastic British horror comedy. Since Sean of the Dead was so popular it’s inevitable that there will be others trying to cash in on it’s success, even if it means putting out a lackluster movie.

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