The Zombie Cheese

I would call it the “vampire cheese” but there is no indication that blood has been used to preserve the cheese’s longevity. Then again, there is no indication that human brains were used, either, so I could just as easily call it “Vampire Cheese.” Yes, let us do that. This is the story of the Vampire Cheese. (Not to be confused with EVIL Cheez, which is the name of my theatrical production company.)

Do you have anything in your refrigerator currently that has been in there, tucked away in the back, so long that you don’t even remember putting it in there? Chances are, this dish of whatever-it-is isn’t in quite the same condition as it was when you, or someone, placed it in there. It has probably grown some green fur. It may have liquefied. Even under refrigerated circumstances, foodstuffs don’t hold up too well over even a relatively short amount of time. That’s why it’s so amazing that this hunk of cheese is OVER FOUR THOUSAND YEARS OLD. It was unearthed from a tomb in the Taklamakan Desert in China, where the dry air and airtight conditions of the tomb kept it from decaying. And maybe being doused in human blood before it was buried. Who knows?

Would you be brave enough to take a bite of the Vampire Cheese, aka the Zombie Cheese?

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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