I dig on Chinese food, but there’s this one restaurant I know where the food is good and the buffet is plentiful, yet I can’t go near the salad bar because they have dead baby octopuses. It’s both sad and gross. Octopuses have so much personality. Also, they are predators, and I maintain that one should never eat a predator—much less eat one RAW. I once tried to eat a fried calamari and it came back to life in my mouth, wrapping its deep-fried tentacles around my uvula in an attempt to choke me. I had to use a chopstick to poke it down my gullet. No more fried calamari for me. I can only imagine the dangers of trying to eat a raw, potentially undead octopus.
Because I know how cephalopods are prone to rising from the dead anyway, this doesn’t surprise me. A dead cuttlefish, revived by soy sauce. Who knew that soy sauce did for cephalopods what tana leaves do for mummies or blood does for vampires? I would have never tried odori-don anyway—that’s Japanese for “undead squid” in case you didn’t know—but after watching this video, fuggedaboutit. I’m liable to start avoiding sushi, even, after this.