True Blood, Season 2, Episode 3
Oh boy, is Bill angry. He’s on the road, at break-neck speed, and he’s on his way to hitting a deer or a gator or something if he doesn’t slow down! Sookie tells Bill to slow down, while Jessica bawls in the backseat and, hey, isn’t there a car behind him? Oh well, not for long, thus the magic of cinematography, –Bill pulls over and the car is now non-existent. Good thing too, there only would have been two survivors in a crash like that. Guess who they’d have been? Sookie tries to apologize, and explain to Bill that Jessica promised they’d only park across the street, then gives the whole “they’re her family!” excuse. Apparently, they were a bunch of assholes. Sookie’s tact-o-meter is broken. Bill hollers “She is a vampire! She has no family!” and Jessica hollers back, about how much she hates Bill for ruining her life. I guess things with Mr. and Mrs. “Pick-a-Switch” must have been great then.
They go at it for a moment longer, and like any woman who has finally lost an argument, Sookie throws a little tantrum, leaves the car, and concludes that she’s “going to walk.” Men all over the world shudder in unison, remembering all those 3 mile-per-hour “walks” that usually ended in: wasting gallons of gas while following the pain in the ass girlfriend, being denied both victory and pussy, and eventually, spending a long night on the couch. Bill huffs, because he’s been blessed with an antiquated understanding of the situation, –I suppose, in an older set of circumstances, the girl would shout: “I’m taking my own damn horse home!” and thus leave him there. So Bill’s a bit flabbergasted, and he sits trying to figure out how to respond, and most men are shouting at their TV “Leave her ass there!” but Jessica coaches Bill anyway on the proper response: Kiss the woman’s ass, it’s what she -wants- you to do.
Bill resists, like any other confused male with limited female experience, and concludes that she’ll come back when she calms down. Sorry buddy, but you’re the one in the car; she expects you to at least drive there, and pick her up, if not run quickly, bow down, worship, pick her up and carry her to the car. Jessica gives him the “Is that your final answer?” look, with a certain amount of pity. Meanwhile, Sookie trudges along Hormonal Female Lane, and is starting to feel some creepiness in the air. Fog, twigs snapping, –look out for hunting politicians, they’re particularly dangerous. Sookie shouts for Bill, and tells him that if he’s trying to scare her into getting back into the car, it won’t work. Was I the only one thinking that Bill doesn’t really have the creativity for that, and the whole “scare you into cooperation” is more of an Eric move? Sookie turns around and sees something really nasty, –what looks like a man with a bull’s head, and gigantic slimy claws. She books it, screaming, while the thing chases her down, –it slashes, and Sookie falls. Bill hears the screaming and hops out of the car, finally convinced that it would have been better to follow Jessica’s advice.
Let’s hear some Jace Everett – Bad Things while we continue…
The gross thing hovers over Sookie, breathing all nasty, with that “I’m going to eat you!” suspenseful atmosphere. If it wasn’t for the speed of the chase, I’d guess that the monster was Michael Moore in disguise, but given the athletic ability involved, I’m settling for O.J. Simpson. Theme music! The incomparable Bad Things, by Jace Everett, to put you in the mood. Back on the road, Bill rushes over to the Sookie roadkill, peels her up off the ground, and tries to ask what attacked her. “Bull… human”, is the best she can manage, and she tells Bill she’s paralized as well. Bill, confident in the ability of his blood to heal pretty much anything, tries to give Sookie some, but it makes her go into a foamy-mouthed seizure. Jessica runs up, takes a look at the apparently rabid Sookie and comments “Gross!” Bill hollers at her to get the car, and they speed away to Fangtasia, and carry Sookie inside to see if Eric can help. Bill tells Jessica to go straight home, and despite some argument, she obeys. I wonder if “As your maker I command you!” will work on all teenagers? Parents, give it a try, and let us know.
At Merlottes, Sam is brooding about “stuff” when Daphne pokes her head in to interrupt him with her latest screw-ups. This time, she’s short for the register, and Sam, already in a pissy state of mind, tells her she has to pay for it. Daphne sniffles and gives him all her tips, telling him she’ll just have to owe him. She sneaks off to cry, while Sam sits, feeling and looking like a total douchebag. And to make things worse, here comes Tara, quoting Maryann to Sam, who, in all consideration, is doing remarkably well. I might have stood up and punched her before going back in a closet somewhere to sniff bleach. But he manages to keep it together, even when Tara starts pestering him about why he hates Maryann. Tara tells him he doesn’t even know Maryann, –uh, wrong-o, –and Sam tells Tara, “neither do you!” before walking off. Score 1 for Sam!
Over at Fangtasia, Sookie is sprawled out looking all kinds of fucked up; gashes run from shoulder to tailbone, and a weird looking little woman, –a “Supe” in the book, but a “who-knows-what” in the show. Goblin, dwarf, gnome, something I can’t remember. Anyway! She examines Sookie, exchanges names, and Sookie asks if she’s dying. Dr. Ludwig confirms, and Bill starts having a big fit. Dr. Ludwig tells him to back off, and Eric asks the tiny doctor to forgive Bill, because he’s “abnormally attached” to Sookie. Dr. Ludwig explains the similarities between this bite and the bite of Komodo Dragon, who tracks a kill after it bites its prey, waiting for its venom to weaken the animal enough to be eaten. Sookie asks if she was attacked by a “dragon”, and a little part of me wants to smack whoever wrote that line. “Country” and “southern” are not synonymous with “ignorant.” Damn yankees. Dr. Ludwig explains that no, this poison is much more advanced, then tells the two vampires to beat it, so she can get Sookie’s clothes off and treat her quickly.
Bill comes and tells Sookie he’ll be just outside, how sorry he is, etc., and in response, Sookie foams at the mouth some more; Dr. Ludwig hurries him off. In Eric’s office, Bill explains what happened to Eric, who is mystified as to what could have attacked Sookie. He quietly calls for Pam and Chow, who hear him, probably all the way over in the next state, and walk in a moment later. Bill tells them to search the highway where Sookie was attacked. Pam informs Eric she’s wearing her favorite pumps, but Eric gives her an “As your maker I command you” of his own, and the two are off to look for the nasty thing that attacked Sookie. Eric and Bill commiserate a little about their “progeny”, –Eric’s getting the better end of the deal, Pam doesn’t seem nearly the pain in the ass that Jessica is. Eric tells Bill how nice it is being a maker, and we’ve sort of got this weird little, “Isn’t it great to be a mom?” thing going here, but before they can swap recipes, Sookie screams in the other room.
Dr. Ludwig is pouring on something that’s making Sookie’s wounds bubble and ooze, and she hollers for Bill to hold her down. Bill holds Sookie while Dr. Ludwig digs little pieces of clumpy goo out of Sookie’s wounds. Do not eat while you watch this episode. Meanwhile, over at the Bible-Thumper Base Camp, Jason Stackhouse wakes up with a scream. He lays back down, and finds Eddie in bed with him, snuggling up, to Jason’s dismay, confusion, and all out panic! Jason sputters “This ain’t real!” before Eddie asks him if “this feels real?” before sinking his teeth in for good bite. Jason hollers again and wakes up, even more confused and freaked out. Jason sits up and prays to God for guidance, and another sign. The Luke-inator hurls a pillow at him, rude!, and tells him to shut up. Jason, properly chastized, curls back up in bed, after he hits his head on the window sill. Poor feller.
Dr. Ludwig does some maintenance on Sookie’s large wounds, while Sookie lays, barely conscious, still splayed out on the bench. The doctor informs the two watching vampires, Bill and Eric, that they can give her blood now. Bill goes to bite his wrist, but Eric stops him and says, “Allow me, my blood is much stronger”. Bill huffs, and gives him a firm ‘never’, before biting his own wrist to give to Sookie. Dr. Ludwig tells Eric she expects her payment at the end of the week, and Eric asserts with some sarcasm what a pleasure it is to do business with her, and we hear the tiny old woman call “Fuck off” in response. Haha, we love Dr. Ludwig. Eric explains to Bill that Dr. Ludwig is “no fan of the fang” but that she tolerates them because of the medicinal value of their blood. Really? I had no idea. Pam and Cho enter after Bill finishes giving Sookie blood, and we see Pam’s fabulous shoes and pantyhose are clearly ruined. Pam, with leaves sticking out of her hair, cattily informs Eric, that the “area has been scanned”. Cho tells Eric that the tracks were human, the smell was animal, and when Eric asks ‘what kind?’ Pam tells him ‘a filthy one’. Well, a dirty human/animal. That should be easy to find. As Pam’s walking off, Eric grins and tells Pam ‘those -were- great pumps.’
Bill tells Eric it’s best that he and Sookie stay, and Eric offers Longshadow’s “messy” coffin, and Bill responds with gratitude for Eric’s hospitality, and saving Sookie. Eric lets Bill know that he’s sure that Sookie can repay him, i.e., he expects Sookie to go to Dallas for him. In Maryann’s kitchen, Carl is stirring a pot of something most likely malevolent, –perhaps he’ll publish a cookbook; “How to Prepare Food For an Orgy” or “Cooking for Psychotic Supernatural Creatures 101”. I’d buy it! He holds out a wooden spoon for Maryann to taste, and she accepts it, sipping and suggesting more juniper, before wandering off to put a few roses in a vase. Tara strolls in, and asks what “all this is for”. I was under the impression that Maryann usually has a kitchen full of food, and fruit, and other finery. Where has Tara been? Maryann tells her she’s having another orgy, carefully disguised as a “few people over”. While Tara sits down for coffee, Maryann sits down to roll a huge joint.
Tara, ever astute, asks Maryann why Sam hates her. Maryann pretends to be surprised, and Tara explains Sam’s irritation at the mention of anything to do with Maryann. To this, Maryann responds with a bunch of hippy psycho-babble bullshit, concluding or leading Tara to conclude, that Sam’s just jealous because Maryann is better than him. Then she invites Tara to smoke some pot before work. Hey, why not, it’s not like we’re adults or anything, right? And yay, it even has a filter; typical women. If you ain’t coughin, you ain’t doin it right. Sam meanwhile, is packing all his shit into his Jeep, when Terry pulls up. Terry asks if Sam’s taking a trip, and Sam evades a direct answer. Sam asks Terry if he’ll take care of the bar while he’s gone, and Terry is reluctant, on account of his PTSD. Sam tells him that he’s the last person he would ask, but everyone else is busy, or having personal issues, and Terry, “feeling the pressure” agreees hesitantly. Sam tells him thanks, but Terry’s pissed; he knows what’s going on, and tells Sam “remind me never to get stuck in a foxhole with you!” before calling him a coward, and driving off.
Over at the Bible-Thumper Base-Camp, aka Fellowship of the Sun headquarters, a severely scarred fangbanger is sniffling and boohooing out her story to a bunch of anti-vampire softies. When she’s finished, Sarah Newlin thanks her for sharing, while Jason looks half disgusted. Sarah prompts Jason to “share something” and when he hesitates, reminds him of his honesty vow. Feel free to excuse yourself to puke now, but be warned, a more vomit worthy scene comes shortly. Jason reluctantly shares, stating that it’s nothing they want to hear: He talks about Sookie’s vampire, Bill, being a decent guy (and there’s almost a dirty comment made about Sookie, so there was a near ass-kkicking moment), about Rene or Drew Marshall’s obsessive vampire hate that killed his family and friends. For once, it seems, Jason is taking a stand to tell these lowlifes how things really are, but as he’s leaving, Sarah Newlin rushes off to persuade him otherwise.
Sarah tells Jason that there’s something special about him, that the Lord sent him to her, etc., but she didn’t know why, and now she does! While Sarah compares herself to Jason, I’m looking through her white pants and I swear, you can see a low riding thong, and it’s not white at all. Anyway, before I started looking at panties, Sarah was saying how similar Jason and her are. She reveals that when vampires “came out of the coffin”, she and her big sister marched together for the equal rights of vampires. Later, when her sister disappeared, addicted to vampire blood and hopelessly lost, Sarah knew they’d killed her, and decided to join the Fellowship of the Sun. She says vampires took her sister, Jason’s girlfriend and grandmother. Hmm, some logical flaws, but whatever, she’s on a roll now. She tells Jason that even if Eddie was nice, if vampires never existed, the people they loved would still be alive.
In a roundabout way, Sarah seems to have convinced Jason that the murders of his Gran and girlfriend were his fault; had it not been for him being high, his girlfriend and Gran would be alive. Sarah comforts and consoles Jason. True, Jason was being an idiot at the time, but if Rene made up his mind to kill Amy, he would have, just like he killed Dawn and Maudette, who were both pretty sober when they died. Drew Marshall/Rene, would have just waited till she was alone. You can tell anyway though, that Jason’s mental facilities are buckling under pressure, and he’s going to get back in the flow of the shit that’s beginning to replace his already moth-eaten brain. They sit on the porch and pray, and it’s as cute as a Precious Moments greeting card.
At Fangtasia, Sookie wakes up in a Fangtasia t-shirt and sneakers, and looks around. She hikes up her shirt and looks in the mirror; not even a scar is leftover from the massive wounds she received the previous evening. Ginger pops up, and gives Sookie the “tube top” sandwich she made her; peanut butter and chocolate syrup. Er, yum? Ginger goes on about how easy it is to lose weight with vampires, and Sookie asks about Bill. Ginger tells Sookie he’s still resting, while she does some light cleaning around the bar. Sookie asks why Ginger is there in the day-time, and Ginger explains that she usually isn’t, but lately she comes in because, –and thinks immediately that she almost told Sookie about her friend Lafayette being locked up in the basement, and Eric telling her not to say anything. Woops! Sookie blocks her, and asks about Lafayette; Ginger, stunned, thinks about the gun under the register, which Sookie automatically retrieves, and points at a screaming Ginger.
Sookie demands that Ginger takes her to Lafayette, and the two head down to the basement. I love Ginger, she’s absolutely dingy as all hell, and her brain is totally fried, but she’s the sort of person you just want to hug and watch movies with. Sookie rushes over to Lafayette, and demands that Ginger uncuff him, but she swears she doesn’t have that key. She’s also worried about Eric being mad at her. Sookie promises to free Lafayette, before the scene switches over to Eggs, playing his guitar for a bunch of dorks over at Maryann’s house. I was sort of waiting for him to bust into “If You’re Happy and You Know It Clap Your Hands”, but Tara shows up and ruins it. Tara is drinking wine out of what I swear is a plastic wineglass, –tres tacky, –while Eggs rambles on about how shitty his life was before he met Maryann, and that she was the one who introduced him to guitar. Good for you, let’s move on, please! Tara giggles about how she’s late for work, and being “too fucked up to deal with Sam Merlotte”. Aww, how nice, you mean the man who gave you all that money for your exorcism? Real nice. Remind me never to give Tara anything of mine, sheesh.
Eggs asks if Tara will get fired, and she says “maybe, but it’s just a job.” Wow, I can see how Maryann’s had a great effect on Tara, what a fantastic, responsible adult she’s blossomed into. While Tara and Eggs get all cute and lovey dovey on the couch, Sookie is raring up for one hell of a bitchfest. Bill approaches and Sookie hops up to hug him; he’s elated to see her alive and well, but she’s ready to get Lafayette out of the basement. Billl wonders if she’s still angry about their fight, but Sookie informs him of Lafayette’s deal, –Bill tells her he had no idea, and Eric enters the scene, and explains to Bill why the human is chained in the basement. In fact, trading sexual favors for a vampire to get vampire blood and sell it, is a grave offense, and Eric is within his rights to punish people who have committed crimes against vampires. But Sookie is still pissed as hell, and she tells him he ought to be ashamed, and slaps him good. Bill hollers “Sookie!” though Eric looks as if he barely felt it, and tells her he’s glad she’s feeling better, and “that color suits her very well”. Sookie tells him to go to hell, and Bill tries in vain to keep her in line.
Sookie continues with all they’ve been torturing Lafayette with, but Bill is neither shocked nor surprised. But Sookie then threatens Eric with the police, which is a toe on the line in his book; he snaps forward, fully irate, and tells her he does not respond to threats. He retreats some, and says that perhaps they can come to some form of arrangement, and invites Sookie to his office. At Merlottes, Sam is on Tara’s voicemail trying to reach her, while Terry is serving food, –never a Terry job! Tara of course, didn’t show. Sookie is out ‘sick’, and Daphne is… herself. Lafayette is MIA and Arlene comes to the rescue, late, explaining that one of her kids tried to pierce the other’s nose, and now he’s got an infection, –it was that feisty redhead! Sam appears to be somewhat calmer, however, and tells Arlene that it’s all right. She explains that Sookie called and asked her to cover for her. Arlene recognizes the change in Sam’s temperament, and encourages it.
Back at Bill’s house, Jessica climbs out of her hidey-hole to find herself alone in the house. Rather than sit home alone, she heads down to Merlotte’s and enters to the tune of Sex & Candy, looking exactly like the song says… while heads turn. She sits across from the lonesome Hoyt, who asks to join her after a moment’s hesitation. The two sit and talk, and Hoyt tells her that before she came in, he was just thinking, that he never met a nice girl. Jessica asks how he knows she’s nice, and Hoyt tells her it’s her smile. It’s true! She does have a beautiful smile. Aside from the mole; it bothers me, and is totally distracting. Hoyt says he could stare at her smile all day long, and Jessica, slightly crestfallen, mutters “Day? Yeah right.” Poor Hoyt doesn’t get it though. Hoyt asks her if she wants anything to eat or drink, and then goes on to sing the praises of the “delicious crispy baby” of fried chicken and steak. Jessica tells him she’ll just have a bottle of TrueBlood, B+, and Hoyt looks surprised, which Jessica takes for disappointment. But his face lights up, and you can tell he thinks it’s the bee’s knees.
Hoyt heads off to get Jessica’s TrueBlood, while she sits looking happy with herself. At Fangtasia, Bill is looking mighty negative while Sookie and Eric negotiate the terms of Lafayette’s release: the deal is, Sookie has to go to Dallas to look for Godric, with Eric paying all the expenses, and he’ll let Lafayette go. Sookie adds that she needs to be paid $10,000 and Bill has to come too, –which means Eric’s out $10,000, plus expenses. He reluctantly agrees, and though Eric tries to be nice and smooth with Sookie, she basically tells him she’d rather have cancer than like him. While they go about the other formalities, Pam tosses Lafayette into the room, expressing a little disappointment that she couldn’t keep him. Eric tells her she has enough pets. Lafayette grunts and calls Pam a bitch, and Pam asks if she can kick him. Bill says she can try. Ooohhhhooo. Before things can get nasty, Eric tells them “enough” and has Pam fetch Cho to get their car, while Sookie is busy comforting Lafayette on the floor.
Eric tells Lafayette he’ll see him around but Lafayette promises he’s done with vampires. Bill carries him off to the car, while Sookie stays behind for just a moment to give Eric a very nasty look. At Maryann’s, Carl is ladeling out the Orgy-Stew, while people dance around topless, and frolic like heathens. Andy walks through the crowd looking cranky, as usual, and Tara points him out to Eggs. The two are sitting in the hot tub, drinking, and talking about Tara being a lazy ass. Andy meanwhile, is still strolling through the crowd, more bewildered at each site, and the weirdest yet is a gigantic pig sitting in a little shed. Maryann comes up to him, and he tells her that there were complaints about the noise. Maryann promises to turn the music off, but before she goes, Andy asks whether she has a livestock permit for the pig… Maryann stares at him, and asks “what pig?” Andy turns to find the tiny house empty. Maryann accuses him of having a little too much fun already, and before Andy can get all riled up, she invites him to stay for a drink, and gives him her glass of whatever. Andy agrees without too much complaint.
Jason has been invited for dinner at the Newlin home, and Steve is telling him how, hating evil is really loving good; describing the “war” going on out there, –and Jason turns and looks, of course, and Steve explains the figurative war a bit more. Jason is soaking all the bullshit up, while Religious Fanatic Barbie serves them dinner, and all but crawling on her hands and knees to help Steve with his napkin. Steve tells Jason that his wife thinks he’s pretty special, because doesn’t “whip out her pudding for just anybody.” Would she whip out her pudding for me? While Jason feels all the good things God has in store for him, Jessica and Hoyt are arriving back at Bill’s house to “hang out” -cough, cough-. Hoyt expresses more than a little wonder at Vampire Bill’s house, but Jessica isn’t all that impressed with it. She pouts that Bill makes her sleep in a hole, but Hoyt tops that by confessing that his mama keeps her doll collection in his closet. Egads… Hoyt attempts to show her how to use a Wii, but before too long, they start getting all friendly and cute.
Jessica’s fangs pop out and she gets all embarassed, but Hoyt comforts her and tells her not to be ashamed of herself. Hoyt also tells Jessica he really likes her, so they ought to wait to do anything else, but Jessica disagrees; she tells him she’s waited too long already, pins him, and she gets that “rawr!” look in her eyes. Oh no! Don’t eat him! Bill pulls up to Lafayette’s house in the black Beamer that Eric loaned him, and Sookie offers to take Lafayette to the hospital. And here’s the big stupid healthcare remark, –for some reason, it’s in here. Why can we not have a show without a political agenda? Lafayette says: “Three jobs and I still can’t afford health insurance.” Excuse me? One of them is hooker, the other is part-time cook, the other is part-time road crew. Get a full time job, stupid ass, or deal with part-time benefits and shut up. For all of you out there nodding and agreeing, read a damn book once in a while, and stop letting television be your primary source of information.
Lafayette explains he’ll have his uncle stitch it up; Sookie inquires, “the veterinarian?” and Lafayette shrugs and figures if he can castrate steer, then he can stitch a bullet wound. Lafayette tells Bill to make sure his “friends” know that Lafayette remembers his time away as a a pleasure vacation. Sookie tries to insist that Bill at least helps him inside, but Lafayette says no, and goes inside, to curl up with a blanket and cry. Poor Lafayette. Someone send him some hugs and love. Sookie tells Bill in the car, that she is starting to feel differently about vampires, that though she used to be sympathetic to vampires who were judged and hated, she now sees more of their world and maybe even justifies some of the hatred they receive. Bill tells Sookie that regardless of species, all of them are capable of both good and evil. Sookie says she doesn’t believe that Eric is capable of anything good, especially after he tortured Lafayette.
Bill tells Sookie that he’s had worse sheriffs, and Sookie still doesn’t see how he can defend Eric, but Bill reminds her, that Eric saved her life. Sookie says she can still hate him. Eric replies that he hates that Eric may be putting her in harm’s way once again, and that he’s shown Sookie the way vampires do justice. Bill says if he could glamour it all away, he would, but Sookie says she wouldn’t that, because she’d rather know what to be afraid of, than just being naive. Bill tells her that he hopes she’s not afraid of him, after the other night. Sookie sniffles, and says, “I know there’s darkness in you, …and it scare the life out of me, but you’re right, there’s goodness in you too.” Aww, a Kodak moment. While Sookie and Bill are being all cute and sweet in the car, Eggs and Tara are laid up in the hot tub, while everybody continues to dance around drunk and naked.
A topless massage therapist enters, and offers to rub Eggs, and Tara pauses to look around at all the craziness; seeing that things are getting a little too freaky for her, she gets out of the water and goes inside. As she walks past, Jane Bodehouse’s eyes have gone black, and so have Mike Spender’s. Eggs follows her and tells her that it’s nothing but a bunch of people letting go and having a good time, “it has nothin to do with us”. Tara tells him “there is no us, if this is your scene”. You go girl, let him know! While Sam’s loading the last of his stuff into the Jeep, the collie dog from around the area barks at him. Sam tells him that he wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye to him, and the dog barks again as if to say, “Hey, do that voodoo that you do and come play with me!” Sam sheds his clothes and runs off with the dog. Meanwhile, across the cemetery, Sookie and Bill walk up his porch steps, while Sookie tells Bill he’s a big softy; Bill carries a bright pink bag full of pink clothes for Jessica.
She tells him that’s “a lot of pink”, but that she’s sure that Jessica will love it. They get into a discussion about how Bill’s used to more traditional women’s clothing, with petticoats, etc., and Bill claims to miss his times, since more clothes equals, more left to the imagination, plus all that stuff took a certain amount of skill to unfasten. Sookie makes a kinky suggestion, –that there’s a costume store nearby, and she could always pick up some “petticoats.” Uh huh… As they’re entering, getting frisky, they hear a moan from the other room; Bill acts instantly, seizing Jessica and tossing her in a different direction. I guess no one ever says much about all the domestic violence, huh? Hoyt moves to get up, and Bill slams him back on the couch. Sookie scolds him, and Bill growls. Two of the exact same collie dogs are running on the dock, once jumps in, and comes back up as Sam; the other dog stays on the dock, and Sam invites him in too, but the dog runs off. Sam swims alone for a moment, before Daphne pops up out of nowhere, and asks him if he was just talking to that dog.
Sam asks why she’s out there, Daphne says she can’t sleep, had a rough week because she has such a hardass boss, etc., and, where any other guy would have been like, “Okay, you’re fired, good night,” Sam tries being nice to her instead. Daphne says that swimming looks like a good idea, and so on, and Sam says yeah, you should try it. Daphne begins to undress, and Sam, startled, says “I didn’t mean now!” But Daphne counters with, the whole, “the lake is big enough for both of us” argument, and takes her shirt off. Course, that would win any argument, naturally. On her back, Daphne has long scars, that match the wounds Sookie almost died from. And that’s where they leave us!