True Blood Season 3 Episode 5


I love how HBO is considerate (for viewers, anyway) enough to catch us up before each new episode, because seriously, the last episode was busy. Plus, there’s that additional bonus at the end, where they show us a quick preview of the next episode too. And even a ‘Post-Mortem’! HBO packs all our True Blood goodies into one hour of blood, sex, violence, and southern hospitality. Personally, I think this ought to be mentioned more often, for some of the non-believers’ sakes; if you have been holding out on watching True Blood, get with the program.

Anyway, point being. Bill has just set up a maladjusted, sad little stripper for dinner, which is fairly out of character for him, and as he’s returning from dinner with Lorena and Russel, he finds Talbot is entertaining guests: a bound Tara and a jubilant Franklin. Bill tells Tara straight up he won’t help her, it’s crazy, and you can tell, Tara has just had all her worst fears about Bill confirmed, and it’ll probably take her a while to come back from this. Franklin is actually there to deliver information he’s stolen from Bill, who was researching Sookie’s family tree, in order to discover where her gift comes from. Russel believes the research Bill is doing is an assignment from the queen.

Elsewhere, Alcide is driving Sookie away from the bar; it never does show how they escape. Lame. Sookie gets talking about Alcide’s female problems, and ladies, FYI: this is a special situation. Any other time, the last thing you want to get in the middle of, is white trash relationship troubles. Even if the guy is hot, it’s not worth the trouble that a dedicated trailer trash girl can bring to your life. Sookie deals with Debbie Pelt again in the morning, while poor Tara has joined her, unknown to Sookie, in Jackson, with her new friend. Franklin wants her to be his ‘vampire bride’, –you know, so she can get his jokes, and be his friend till the end.

Sam still has family troubles, but it’s becoming more and more clear that there is a serious problem with the Mickens’ family. Joe-Lee is violent, Tommy is troubled, and Mrs. Mickens is indifferent, but appears to cope. Wouldn’t surprise me if she was actually the mastermind. You know, behind every great man, there’s a great woman, –well, behind every shitty criminal, there’s a constantly nagging bitch who shops at Wal-Mart. I’ve got my eye on her…

Things are moving right along with Jason Stackhouse in his new job. Hehe, not really. Andy has him situated where he can do as little damage as possible; the phones. And also, washing the police cars. But at least he’s really getting into Crystal, by the end of the episode, they’ve kissed and everything, so for everyone that can’t wait to see what Alan Ball has done with the Hot Shot concept, it’s coming real soon. Probably next episode. Elsewhere, in the land of sub-plots, something beautiful is going on: ‘Lafayette and Jesus, sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!’ They are so cute! Jesus is being all shy and adorable, and Lafayette, playing hard to get; it seriously tickles my hag bone. I really hope Jesus doesn’t turn out to be some kind of fuckhead, messing with Lafayette’s heart.

Terry is taking the big plunge and moving in with Arlene, even though she still hasn’t told him that her baby belongs to a dead serial killer. Sadly, in the end, after a lot of strife, it appears Bill is back on track when he discovers Sookie is in Jackson, and with a werewolf. He breaks free, and runs off to go save her, but it was actually just an ‘experiment’. Russell used Coot(er… -snicker-) to instigate that reaction from Bill, and follows him to kidnap Sookie, who demonstrates her super-psychic-ability again. Notice how I haven’t mentioned Eric yet? He has the biggest ordeal, really, –at the end of the episode, we discover is was Russell and his wolves who killed his human family. The next episode promises to be even more deliriously exciting. Check it out!

By annimi

Ashley writes for,, and other sites in the Darksites Network. She's involved in several seedy and disreputable activities, smokes too much, and spends her late nights procrastinating for work on her first novel.


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