True Blood Season 4 – If You Love Me Why Am I Dyin’?

True Blood – Season 4 – If You Love Me, Why Am I Dyin’?

There’s a whole lotta crazy going down, –and doesn’t the title sort of sound like this episode should revolve around Jason Stackhouse? After all, last we checked, he was being ripped apart by Crystal Norris and her crazy cousin/boyfriend/uncle brother because they want Jason’s genes to make babies… his genes as a werepanther.

So… I have three categories this week, actually; like, don’t like, and just plain don’t understand. The subplots are flying around willy nilly and need to be put in check.
I Liked:
  • *zoom* “WHOTHEFUCK’SSHE?!” – This was my favorite part of the entire episode. I thought this was absolutely hilarious. I giggled out loud. Poor Eric is all confused, and I love Pam. She’s hardcore, but she definitely has a soft spot for Daddy. Oh, and I love Eric’s big man-feet.
  • Eric’s entire performance this episode was amazing. He is so funny, –the conscientious, innocent side of Eric is like… well, have you ever seen that cartoon, Clifford the Big Red Dog? Eric is like a gigantic puppy… who happens to be capable of killing people incredibly easy, and eats people. He just has these big puppy eyes that make him look like he might have a secret phobia of a rolled up newspaper.
  • Sookie’s punching Eric. She’s definitely grown some balls, –and some common sense since Season 1. It’s been fun watching the character evolve.
  • Marnie. She’s weird, and a villain, sort of, –I like her. Her whole attitude just says “crazy gramma” to me. What do you guys think? Wouldn’t you love to have Marnie as your gramma? I love her candor as well. She has balls.
  • I liked watching Eric kill Claudia… as far as I’m concerned, as many of those hideous faerie things to drop off the face of the multi-verse, the better. Not to mention, they suck, their Bug Planet sucks, and their whole storyline and subplot concept thing, it all SUCKS.
  • The Hotshot werepanther mythology; it’s great. I love that they have their own story.
  • And thank you Crystal Norris, for proving that it’s possible to gang rape a male.
Didn’t Like:
  • This bullshit with people YouTube’ing vampires feeding on them. They’re just as irritating as everyone else that has a reality vlog on YouTube. If I wanted to watch some fat guy who never got picked for basketball bitch about the state of our society, I’d watch a Michael Moore movie. It made my skin crawl, and I thought it was unfair that this guy ended up dying because these idiots filmed him. He should have ripped their heads off or died trying. Hopefully, “King Bill” will deal with this group of narcs as harshly.
  • Jessica, continuing to be a giant whore. Ugh. Gross. And now she’s brainwashing Hoyt? Ugh, ugh, ugh. Maybe Maxine Fortenberry was right about you Jessica. Undead Whore o’ Babylon!
  • Tommy Mickens… this kid just doesn’t get it. White trash to the core. Last week, I had really hoped they were making progress, but no. Tommy is being ignorant, all over again.
  • Not getting to see Sam’s girlfriend naked again. Darn.
  • Portia Bellefleur. What a skank. With ugly nipples.
I Just Plain Didn’t Understand:
  •  That weird baby doll that turns up in Jessica and Hoyt’s house. And won’t go away. That thing is nasty.
  • What possibly could have possessed Jessica to give it to Arlene’s demon baby? That poor kid clearly has plenty of issues without needing to be teething on a demonic toy straight from Satan.
  • Andy’s V-addiction. This has got to end. He’s losing it, and if something doesn’t happen, he’s going to end up killing someone. Possibly Sam Merlotte from the looks of things.
  • Debbie Pelt and Alcide Herveaux back together; Debbie’s supposed to be dead. Wtf? Are they planning to kill her off or not? And also, she’s clean, which is great. She looks a lot better, less like a tweaker whore than before.
  • The killing off of Claudine, –she’s Sookie’s “fairy godmother” (another scene that made me lololol). Why kill her? I suspect that Alan Ball is planning to wind up the series sooner than Charlaine will be winding up the book series. He’s killing some characters off early, consolidating the plot, –altering it severely in the process. I’ll be surprised if there will be anything beyond a possible season 5 of True Blood. I could be wrong, but I suspect there’ll only be one more season, at most.

Read the full HBO synopsis.

What’s Babyvamp Jessica saying? Ugh, she’s playing with that nasty doll and talking about how glamouring is maybe the best thing she could have done for Hoyt. Yeah, whatever. She’s being an absolute idiot, and this whole thing is going to blow up in her face. I’m very disappointed in this character currently. But there’s at least the fact that she’s going about it with a fair amount of naivety, so it’s not like she’s being completely duplicitous. Well, the best thing about this video is that Arlene pops up in it.

The Ethics of Glamouring

Inside the Episode

The preview for the next episode looks pretty damn terrific; I’m excited. Even though they do deviate so much, once I’ve seen a few episodes, I’m hooked, and totally stuck. It’s like crack. And I’m running back for more next Sunday.

So the big question for this episode, in my opinion:
Is Arlene’s baby evil?

By annimi

Ashley writes for,, and other sites in the Darksites Network. She's involved in several seedy and disreputable activities, smokes too much, and spends her late nights procrastinating for work on her first novel.


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  3. Ashley, as always, your reviews are great. I love your acid wit and sense of humor.

    I’m disappointed in Tommy as a person but his white trashiness makes for another good plot. I’m expecting Maxine won’t be buying dolls much longer.

    Once again, Alexander Skarsgard was brilliant. He went from sexy alpha male predator to puppy dog in a nanosecond. I thought the ending was hilarious. “Sorry,” Eric exclaimed. Hahahaha.

    Poor Lafayette. Back in Eric’s dungeon. And I want a jacket like Pam’s with the spikes on the shoulders! I thinks she’s the only one that carry that thing off without looking like a whore though.

    Debbie was a surprise. Formerly, she had reminded me of white trash girls in high school who picked fights (with me). Not sure if I like the new Debbie who has Jesus on her side. I think I want her to be bad so someone bigger and meaner can beat the crap out of her.

    What do we do about Andy? I’ve aways thought he was a humorous character. He’s down-to-earth, very real. Now he’s a pathetic junkie. He’ll have to shoot someone important, won’t he? Jason Stackhouse would become sheriff…if he survives Crystal’s ride-a-thon. (I was just thinking, which is dangerous, but I’d be so embarrassed to do that scene. I wonder how many retakes they had to do? *snicker*.)

    I’m still not enchanted with Bill. Why is that? His southern accent is fake, too. :P

  4. Eric is SO adorable. That’s probably the only think I like in the episode, how cute he is.

    I hate the Hotshot panther stuff, I just hate those creepy hicks. It’s disturbing as all hell. The rape scene was also terrible, if the roles had been reversed HBO would be getting hell for it.

    That baby is creepy too, but I am curious as to what’s going on with it. Andy’s V addiction is also irritating, I want him to go back to being a good guy. Hmm what else, oh yeah, also didn’t like the Alcide and Debbie thing, but it is nice to see her looking clean and pretty.

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