Season 4 – True Blood – You Smell Like Dinner
Now, we kinda cheated here; with HBOGo providing advance episodes occasionally, we’ve actually known what was fixin’ to happen in this episode for an entire week. We just couldn’t tell you yet. But now we can! Or… I can, I reckon. And I’m gonna. Oh yeah. Definitely. I have a lot more good things to say about this episode than the last one, too, trust me.
- Jason is fixing to get turned into a werepanther.
- Crystal’s skanky character is beginning to emerge, and she’s finally losing that “Oh, I’m just a sweet little domestic victim trapped in a meth-addled town full of assholes” sheen that attracted Jason in the first place. Crystal’s cutthroat character is a major part of the story.
- The coven is up to some crazy shit, and the vampires are shifting their attention to these “necromancers”, which is the catalyst for Eric’s memory loss.
- Eric loses his memory… which in some ways is great, because we were so waiting for this. But he was right in the middle of a moment of total badassery. Poor guy. Cut down by some crazy old bitch… in his prime.
- Luna… Sam’s new girlfriend. She can turn into other people. That’s pretty damn cool. And it’s bound to cause some big trouble. But still, she’s one hell of a shifter.
- Sam and Tommy might patch things up. I really hope so. Seeing Tommy getting fawned over by Maxine Fortenberry is awkward… and nasty. Makes my skin crawl, and my mouth taste like… a rough morning with a sinus infection.
Now, you knew it was coming. These are the things I don’t like, and can certainly do without:
- The return of Tara: Token Black Friend. We already have Lafayette…. why do we need Tara? All she does is interrupt the organic, natural flow of the show. It really irritates. As soon as she gets into town, she ends up getting involved in the “Eric Trouble”. This obnoxious character does nothing but play up to the southern black woman stereotypical image: loud, rude, inconsiderate, selfish, ignorant, promiscuous, –and yet somehow, always the contrite victim. Can we please… PLEASE not have a massive helping of Tara this season?
- Andy’s V-addiction. It’s dumb. And that’s all I have to say about it.
- Bill being king. Also dumb. Makes no sense. And I don’t like it. Um, and his eyeliner in that 80s flashback. OMG.
- Lafayette’s new boyfriend, Jesus. He’s such a GIRL. Lafayette’s supposed to be the bottom, -obviously-, but Jesus is the manipulative one, –clearly the female in the relationship.
- Jessica cheating on Hoyt. Whore. Ugh. After he got his ass kicked defending her?! That redheaded -bitch.-
And what does Jessica have to say for herself? Not a lot; she just made a regular blog post about home leftovers might save her relationship with Hoyt. Lame. Seriously? …Hoyt doesn’t care about food. It’s all about consideration; if she really loved Hoyt, she’d get off her ass and buy a new microwave. They cost $20 at Wal-Mart, god. Or get a Schwann’s membership, –or join a forum, and talk to other vampire homemakers, and check into what the other undead chicks are doing. You don’t just go out and start eating some guy in a toilet for god sake, that is just -so- low class.