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Vampire Brouhaha In Africa

There are vampires in Malawi, apparently. Although today there are nine less. 140 people were arrested after the vampires were murdered. There may be more victims yet to be documented. One of the vampires was a man suffering from epilepsy who was burned to death. Another vampire was stoned by a mob. This occurred after word got that that vampires were on the prowl, endangering the populace.

If you’re thinking this is a case of a backwards country with an uneducated populace succumbing to mass hysteria, you would be correct. I mean, common sense should tell you that vampires don’t get epilepsy.

To be serious about it, it’s disturbing that a modern day Salem Witch Trial, sans benefit of any trial, could be taking place today, anywhere in the world. It’s a sobering reminder to those of us who live in the First World that our problems may not be so serious, after all, comparable to what some have to go through. Not many of us in the good ol’ US have to worry about mobs of terrified, enraged, torches-carrying fanatics breaking into our homes, dragging us outside, and executing us because they think we’re vampires, or might be harboring vampires. Even those of us who do harbor vampires enjoy the protection of law.

Give credit to Malawi’s president, Peter Mutharik, for trying to keep peace, though. In one of the most unintentionally hilarious messages ever released by a public official, he stated that “my government will offer protection from these alleged bloodsuckers.” But Peter, shouldn’t you have said that you’d offer protection not from but TO the alleged bloodsuckers? Seems like they’re the ones who need it.

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS (,, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced and directed (and occasionally acted in) over a dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and Crime genres. His first novel, THE CONFESSIONS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER: WEREWOLF, is available for purchase here:


TheCheezman • October 31, 2017

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