real vampires, vampire games and tv shows, movies or films, and vampire books

8

Vampire Movies That Really Suck

…And I should know, I’ve seen a ton of them, –really, wicked horrible flicks. I don’t always get a chance to see -every- vampire movie, but trust me, I’ve definitely seen some of the worst. If you’re the kind of person who loves really, really stupid horror movies, because they’re funny, or just cool to watch, hey, great for you. I occasionally don’t mind sitting through something incredibly ridiculous either, –like After Dark Films’ ‘Nightmare Man’, for example. But sometimes, like the rest of us, we just crave something better. Avoid or seek these with caution:

Blood Angels (2004) -Probably the second lowest budget film on this list, it was pretty cheap all the same. But I believe there is some nudity in it, which might just be its saving grace. If there isn’t any nudity, then I’m really sorry for getting your hopes up. But there are still girls in skintight fetish-wear.

Van Helsing (2004) – All I have to say about this movie is: vampire babies. Vampire babies powered by electricity. Vampire babies brought to life by Frankenstein. …and Hugh Jackman.

Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter (2001) – My boss loves this movie, –plenty of the people on staff probably do. I tried so hard to get into the whole “it’s so bad it’s good” funk with this movie, but I couldn’t do it. It was just “so bad”, there was no good. None.

Embrace of the Vampire (1995) – The only reason I listed this movie is because I have personal grudge against Alyssa Milano. She couldn’t act to save her life, and I hate having her anywhere near my precious vampire genre.

The Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008) – It wasn’t that bad, but honestly, it was pretty damn bad. This movie is probably part of the reason Corey Haim is dead; after seeing this, it’s pretty damn easy to lose the will to live. Especially if you were part of the effing amazing original.

Alyssa Milanobad vampire moviesBlood Angels 2004Corey HaimEmbrace of the Vampire 1995FrankensteinHugh JackmanJesus Christ Vampire Hunter 2001The Lost Boys: The Tribevampire moviesVampiresVan Helsing 2004

annimi • April 30, 2010


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  1. vampires
  2. True Blood Sucker
  3. Christine May 1, 2010 - 8:20 am Reply

    I liked Van Helsing. Wonderful fairytale Transylvania with all the classic monsters – especially gorgeous vampire ladies – saved it for me.
    My Vampire movies that really suck – list:
    1. John Carpenter´s Vampires. James Woods in another sleazebag role. Yawn.
    2. From Dusk till Dawn 1 and 2. Yes, I don´t praise Quentin Tarantino´s sadistic, sleazy character and sadistic, sleazy script. So sue me!
    3. The forsaken. Lead vampire and his acting were so irritating that I wanted to twist his nose.
    4. Blade. Yep, another unpopular vote. However, I liked Tomb of Dracula comic book, where Blade appeared first time.
    I´m sure something like I´m a Vrgin should be on the list, but I listed only flicks I have had displeasure to see.

  4. 7ru6 May 1, 2010 - 6:08 pm Reply

    Nothing compares to the extreme and vulgar Andy Warhol film blood for Dracula I bought that with the extra flesh for Frankenstein and was surprised to find that it was more of an adult film than anything

  5. iszy May 1, 2010 - 8:18 pm Reply

    there is nothing wrong with van helsing a bit stereotypical in bits but apart from that a good flick.

  6. Scorpio Vamp
  7. Vkola October 17, 2010 - 9:08 pm Reply

    Why isn’t Twilight on the list?

    • Luny October 21, 2010 - 4:23 pm Reply

      beacause twilight is a good saga. I am prolly not the only one who thinks so. a little shabby at first but it tends to grown on you as you watch it and the other 2

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