Zombie Cap is Stealthy

I can’t explain it, other than to attribute it to the sneakiness of Zombie Captain America. 

My lovely better half had sent me to the local grocery store (read: super Walmart) for a loaf of bread, a bottle of milk, and c-c-c-c-come home right away. (And if you recognize this refrain that Porky Pig repeated to himself in that old Looney Toons cartoon, consider yourself lucky, as kids today are sadly lacking in exposure to such classics.) I went into the store, minding my own business, but took a detour through the Halloween decorations, as one does, and passed through the toy department, just to see what might be new on the shelves. There I spotted him, hanging on the rack. The Marvel Legends Zombie Captain America action figure. A beautiful figure. Gorgeous sculpt. And I do love the Marvel Zombies a great whole lot. But I had promised my wifey that I would only purchase the loaf of bread, bottle of milk, and come home right away. Like the good and devoted hubby that I am, I did just that.

I left Zombie Cap there in the toy section. I drove home. I took the milk (it was actually almond milk) out of the bag to put in the refrigerator. I put the bread in the microwave to keep the demon cat from tearing into the bag, as it usually does if I leave the bread out in the open. And there in the shopping bag I found him. Zombie Captain America. How did he get there?! I hurriedly checked the receipt. How, how, I ask you, did Zombie Cap manage to get me to purchase him without me being aware of it?! I didn’t know Marvel Zombies had mind-control abilities! I for sure didn’t know that Marvel Zombies ACTION FIGURES had mind-control abilities!

By TheCheezman

WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless. Denn die totden reiten schnell!

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