Yes, after countless years—um, more like days; no, actually, more like hours; alright, minutes—of scouring the aisles of the big department and grocery stores in search of the new Skittles Zombie-flavored Halloween specialty candy, I finally found some. What I wanted was a box and all they had were large packages of mini-packages meant for handing out to trick-or-treaters, but I snatched it up anyway. Being a diabetic who doesn’t need to eat candy, and with a better half who doesn’t like Skittles, I will be handing out lots of these little packages to friends this Halloween season.
We had to try some, though. The zombie-flavored candies are inserted at random into the packages, and you can’t tell by looking at them which ones they are. They look just like regular Skittles. You have to bite into one to know you’ve gotten one. Well, I had to have one, so my lovely wifey and I sat down and scarfed a few packs, one Skittle at a time. She got two in her first package, whereas I got none. I did get one out of my second pack, though. It tasted sorta like rotten eggs. Zombie-flavored, indeed. Haven’t you always wanted to know what it would taste like to take a bite out of a zombie?
WAYNE MILLER is the owner and creative director of EVIL CHEEZ PRODUCTIONS, specializing in theatrical performances and haunted attractions. He has written, produced, and directed (and occasionally acted in) over two dozen plays, most of them in the Horror and True Crime genres. He obtained a doctorate in Occult Studies from Miskatonic University and is an active paranormal investigator. Is frequently told he resembles Anton Lavey. And Ming the Merciless.
Denn die totden reiten schnell!